Wanted : Dream Interpreter

Okay so let me just preface this by saying that I've never watched Twilight, never read the books, nor do I have any great desire to do either of these things.  Now please, if you will, tell me what the helltown is wrong with my brain for dreaming this little doozy last night:

I was in a love triangle with Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. (Stop laughing)

Taylor (who could be my SON which I'd like to think is the most disturbing thing about this dream but probably isn't, and in real life I find this man-boy about as attractive as staples, I do not get the appeal at ALL) was, I seem to recall, something akin to my bodyguard - of sorts - despite the fact that I was neither rich nor important and despite the fact that I was living in my late grandmothers house back in my home town. Naturally with all his guardings of my body we fell in luffs and he was sweet, polite and rather dreamy but throughout the whole saga failed to wear a shirt even though in said saga we went to the movies and out to dinner.  He also had a penchant for denim cutoffs (told you it got more disturbing). It seems he was protecting me from......

Mr Pattinson who (okay yes I find him somewhat appealing but only because I've always had a thing for pale, posh englishmen with an aversion to bathing) was decidedly evil and I think a vampire in this increasingly ridiculous nightmare but was possibly just a pale psychopath and therefore I found him terribly attractive even though he ... wait for it ... 

Ate my kitten. That's not a dirty metaphor. He ATE. My KITTEN. Because throughout this dream/nightmare/potential B grade slasher flick, I carried a fecking kitten with me everywhere. 

Please Jesus explain THAT one.

Comments

[ellie]

Sam - in a dream it is ALL a metaphor. A vampire ate your pussy while you were protected by a werewolf. Say no more...

hehehehe

[shesaidso]

I'm sorry, I can't reply because I HAVE TO GO GET 14 HOURS OF THERAPY.

[georgia esthetician license]

That video is hilarious, fun to watch but the reviews were really to the point and very informative.